Double Standards Don’t Exist

We hear the term “double standard” constantly—in relationships, workplaces, and gender debates. People claim it’s unfair when the same behavior is judged differently for men and women. But what if I told you most so-called double standards fall into two categories: unfair gender biases or justified sex differences?

Let’s test this with three scenarios.

Scenario 1: The Controlling Partner

Man says: “I can’t go—my girlfriend said no.”
→ Reaction: “Ah, understandable.”
Woman says: “I can’t go—my boyfriend said no.”
→ Reaction: “Red flag! Are you okay?”

Is this a double standard?
Yes—but only because of gender roles, not biology. Society sees men as potential threats and women as potential victims, so the same controlling behavior is judged differently. This is hypocrisy—a true double standard rooted in culture.

Scenario 2: The Age Gap

Older woman dates younger man: “You go, cougar!”
Older man dates younger woman: “Ew, predator.”

Is this a double standard?
Again, yes—but only where gender norms are involved. Historically, older men dating younger women was normalized (for bad reasons: power, paternalism). Now, we’re correcting that bias—but overcorrecting by shaming men for what women are celebrated for. Still cultural, still a double standard.

Scenario 3: The Slut vs. the Stud

Woman sleeps with many men: “She’s a slut.”
Man sleeps with many women: “He’s a stud.”

Is this a double standard?
No—because this is about sex, not gender.

Why? Biology vs. Culture

Gender = cultural roles (e.g., “men should be stoic”). These can be double standards.
Sex = biological realities. These can’t be double standards, because men and women aren’t the same in reproduction.

Sexual strategies differ for a reason:

Women: Biologically, pregnancy is costly. Their best strategy is to be selective (hence stigma against “sluts”—women who “waste” their limited fertility on low-quality mates).
Men: Biologically, sperm is cheap. Their best strategy is to spread seed (hence praise for “studs”—men who prove high genetic fitness).

This isn’t hypocrisy—it’s evolutionary logic. Judging female and male promiscuity differently makes sense because the stakes aren’t the same.

The Key Difference

True double standards (like Scenarios 1 & 2) are cultural hypocrisy—judging the same behavior differently based on gender.

But sexual judgments (like Scenario 3) are biological realities—different behaviors assessed differently because the consequences are different.

The Way Forward

Instead of crying “double standard,” ask: